What Happens When You Co-Lead with Your Complete Opposite?

If you looked at Chang and me on paper, you’d probably wonder how we managed to share a room for 2.5 days without driving each other crazy.

• The Mind: Chang finds joy in exploring the world of books and doing deep inner work. Me? I prefer exploring externally through the world, travel, and lived experiences. Plus, I’m dyslexic—I’ve never finished a single book in my life, unless you count an 8-page, big-font children’s book I read to my kids!
• The Energy: She is an extreme introvert. I am an extreme extrovert.
• The Style: She is spacious, fluid, and allows room to breathe. I am snappy, structured, and obsessed with efficiency.

By all logic, we should have pulled in opposite directions. It should have been a struggle. Instead, it felt like a dance. We completed each other's sentences. By the end of our CTI Fundamentals session, I didn't feel drained—I felt deeply fulfilled.

How? It came down to three things that I think apply far beyond leadership:

1. The Power of "Yes, And..."

Instead of protecting our own territories, we used a simple improv rule: "Yes, and..."

• YES: First, truly appreciate what the other person brings to the table. See the value in their silence or their speed.
• AND: Add your own layer to build something neither of you could have created alone.

2. Widening the Range in the Room

A room full of learners is never one-size-fits-all. Some participants needed Chang’s spaciousness to process. Others needed my structured energy to take action. Because we didn't try to blend into a single "ideal" persona, our differences created a wider net. We gave everyone in the room a place to land.

3. Giving People Permission to Be Human

So often, when people enter a new space—whether it’s becoming a better leader, a coach, a spouse, or a parent—they look for a cookie-cutter mold to fit into.

By standing up there as two wildly different humans who respected each other deeply, we showed them they didn't need to change who they were to be effective. They just needed to be fully human.

My learning: Excellence isn't about finding people who mirror me. It’s about creating a space where two opposites can honor each other so completely that everyone else feels safe to show up, too.

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Thank you, Chang, for co-creating such a beautiful space with me and for reminding me of the magic that happens when we embrace our differences.

And thank you, Cheryl, for assisting this course with so much grace—handling every single role on your own, from jumping into pairs to managing logistics, and keeping our space safe and grounded.

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Have you ever worked closely with your complete opposite? What did it teach you about yourself?