Recently, a simple contrast in language hit me with profound clarity.

A friend called to invite me out for dinner, and without thinking, I blurted out: "I have to look after my kids and cook for them tonight."

Shortly after, I heard my husband Milan talking about his day. He smiled and said: "I get to homeschool my son today."

Hearing him use those words stopped me in my tracks.

They were two different responsibilities, but his intentional choice of words sent a completely different energy into the room. I realized if I shifted my own sentence to "I get to spend time with my kids and cook for them," my entire emotional state felt instantly more positive and uplifting.

The Burden Mindset vs. The Privilege Mindset

When we use the phrase "I have to," we subtly position ourselves as victims of our schedules. It implies obligation, force, and heavy responsibility—as if life is happening to us rather than for us.

When we reframe that phrase to "I get to," everything shifts. It serves as an immediate reminder that our responsibilities—running a business, raising children, or preparing a meal—are conscious choices and genuine privileges. It grounds us in autonomy, motivation, and joy.

Living a fulfilling life comes down to intentionally filling our days with things we get to do.

Reframing Purpose in the Workplace

This language trap isn't limited to our personal lives—it deeply impacts organizational culture.

In many companies, employees operate in "have to" mode: "I have to submit this report," or "I have to attend this meeting." When work is framed purely around compliance, motivation drains quickly and burnout sets in.

High-performing organizations help teams reconnect with the underlying "why." When leaders clarify impact, the narrative shifts from obligation to contribution: "I get to launch this initiative," or "I get to help this client solve a critical issue."

Purpose transforms a heavy task into a meaningful opportunity.

I get to do the work at Grows Us that supports leaders to help their teams connect that dot—changing their mindset from "have to" to "get to." Purpose transforms a heavy task into a meaningful opportunity.

How often do you catch yourself using "have to" directives at home or with your team?

What is one responsibility you can reframe today into a "get to" opportunity?

Let’s chat if you want your team to have a desired outcome with positive reinforcement!