"Papa, why don't we have a TV at home like other families?"... “Why are you ok for us to splash water during the weekend and not on weekdays?”

When my children ask questions like this, it forces me to pause and reflect on where our expectations actually come from. Is there a universal rulebook for doing life?

Growing up in Germany, the answer to that question felt like a resounding "yes." German culture has long been influenced by Knigge - a famous guide originally written in 1788 by Adolph Freiherr Knigge. 

Over centuries, Knigge evolved into an unofficial rulebook for social norms, proper etiquette, and business relationships. 

Deep down, I was conditioned to believe there was a clear, linear, and "correct" way to operate in society.

If I had never left, I might have lived my entire life without questioning those invisible standards.

The Myth of the Single Path

Living abroad across different countries for over a decade shattered that single-track mindset. I realized that what I once viewed as fixed "rules" were simply cultural preferences.

When my kids ask why our household looks different from others—like choosing to live without a TV—I explain that our choices aren't superior or inferior to anyone else's. They are simply our preferences. 

There is no single formula for raising a family, doing business or living a fulfilling life.

Why "The How" Causes Workplace Conflict

This realization extends far beyond parenting—it is a critical lesson for leadership and organizational culture.

Most conflicts in the workplace don't stem from a disagreement over the ultimate goal (Point B).

They happen because leaders and team members get fiercely attached to their specific way of getting there (the "How"). 

They mistake their personal preference for absolute truth, creating friction, rigid corporate silos, and unnecessary resistance.

When we let go of the idea that there is only one "right" way to execute a project, raise a child, or build a career, we make room for innovation, empathy, and genuine diversity of thought.

Yet, as we prepare to travel back to Germany later this year, I feel a subtle tension. 

The deeply rooted social expectations of my home country can still trigger that old instinct to judge or conform. Every day, I have to consciously remind myself: 

Do not impose your "right way" onto your children or those around you.

Over to You 

Are there "rulebooks" in your workplace or personal life that you are holding onto out of habit rather than necessity? 

How do you create space for others to find their own path to Point B? 

Is Point B even their goal?

Reach out if you want to create an inclusive leadership culture for your team.

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